The newcomers to my blog have maybe not yet met my extraterrestrial friend Tsish. If you go through my blog, you are going to find several articles he has written here as a guest blogger.
Some time ago I have asked him to write a little bit about himself, which he did. For those of you who don’t know him yet, I have included it here. After that self-introduction, I will present the first part of a long letter I have received from him recently. Since the letter is quite long, I decided to split it and let you read it over two or three days. Here is what Tsish wrote about himself:
Hi, just call me Tsish. I am an alien currently flying near your planet. My real name is unpronounceable for you earthlings, but this word comes near it, at least for your ears. Sorry for my grammar, I am not a native speaker. My translator occasionally makes mistakes.
I’m sure many of you wanted to become astronauts as children. Be happy you did not. Flying through outer space is so boooooooaring. Luckily, your technology makes it very expensive, so most of you are spared this experience. Where I come from, only virtual technology is used, so flying into outer space is cheap. Now, I am sitting here in my virtual space ship and nothing is happening. Fortunately, I found a way to get access to your people’s Internet. So I can now study your planet and send you my comments.
Crazy things are happening on your planet, I am telling you! A very interesting planet that you have there. I am planning to comment on some of the strange aspects of your cultures from an alien’s point of view.
Looking at things from an outsider’s perspective can reveal interesting things. If you are inside, your thoughts and perceptions will always follow the same old ways, like a fly bouncing against a window again and again (there is one here in my space ship, very annoying…)
My main equipment consists of my Asifoscope and my Asifomat. The Asifoscope is a device that makes as-if-bubbles visible. An as-if-bubble is a metaphor for an as-if-construction. Inside it, we do as if certain things exist. Inside, they look real, but if you leave the bubble, you see it is just a construction. Although you might not be aware of it, many parts of cultures consist of as-if-bubbles. The asifomat, on the other hand, is a device to create new as-if-bubbles. We create them and when we enter the bubble, the things are there (although in reality, we only pretend as if). My virtual space ship was created using the asifomat.
I am in contact here with a guy calling himself Nannus. The asifomat allowed me to create a stair case from my space ship right into his living room. A strange guy with strange ideas (from my point of view). For example, he claims that he created me using an asifomat. What a ridiculous nonsense! Besides that mad idea, he is a nice guy.
Oh, my space ship’s energy core is making strange noises. Got to leave you now and have a look at it. Hope you will come back…
So far Tsish’s self-introduction from my archives. Now I have received a letter from him (or her? I do not know exactly, actually). His recent adventures are too complex for me to report them so I have decided to just share the letter with you. Here is the first part:
I have just escaped some very dangerous situations. I was nearly shot several times by different space weapons, escaped collisions with space ships, nearly suffocated, escaped an alien monster, caused an interstellar war, saved the world from being bombed and then entered some very dangerous as-if-bubbles of the ideological type. I also had a brief encounter with the archangel Gabriel. But let me start at the beginning. The day was a bit boring, but since I am orbiting earth rather fast, it only lasted about 45 minutes. However, the following, equally short night was boring as well. Therefore, I started playing with the knobs of my asifoscope. Moreover, the one-by-one-filter was off, so instead of looking at one as-if-bubble at the time, many of them could become visible at once. I had not noticed this. What a bad mistake.
As you know, I am currently orbiting earth to do asifoscopic studies. I turned on the channel selector. You can think of it the asifoscope as a crossbreed of a microscope, a telescope and a radio receiver, with some turning control knobs as well as some switches, a screen and a small keyboard. One of these knobs is the channel selector. I turned it a little bit too far and that immediately brought me into trouble. I obviously tuned into a channel for terrestrial “science fiction”, specifically the type concerned with space flight. I could see the telltale soap-bubble like colors of a large as-if-bubble enclosing my spaceship and a lot of space around it, including the whole planet earth and the moon. The specks on the inside of the bubble clearly showed that it was derived from books, films and computer games. But I did not have the time to study this interesting bubble surface because immediately, hell broke loose.
End of part I, Continue reading tomorrow.