Aliens / as if / Civilization / Ecology / Economy / Ideology / Kitsch / Philosophy / Politics / Racism / Religion / Tsish

A letter from outer space – Part III

Here is Part II of the Letter I received from my extraterrestrial friend Tsish. You can find the first parts here and here

Fortunately, I had my asifomat and asifoscope still with me, so I quickly fixed the bug in the program and my space ship reappeared. The corroded smoking holes where gone, they had never existed. Space was quiet again.

To my astonishment, there were some space ships left. One I was approaching turned out to be the International Space Station. There was also a lot of space junk dashing around, some of it flying right through my ship. Since my ship is imaginary, that does not do any harm, but it is unpleasant.

“Take care” I told the computer, “we are on collision course with the ISS”. The international space station came nearer and nearer.

“But we are imaginary, so they will fly right through and they won’t do us any harm, so where is the problem”.my ship-computer argued.

Now I can tolerate a small bit of space junk flying through my ship, but if the ISS is flying through, I am reminded too much of my imaginary nature. It can make me depressive. So I said: “Pretend as if they would harm us on collision.” Big mistake again. The computer switched on that alarm noise again (“woooot, woooot, woooot”), the lights started blinking and it said “100 seconds left until collision, 90 seconds left until collision…”.

“No”, I said, “that is not what I wanted. Fly an eversion maneuver so that we do not hit it.

The computer protested “That is totally irrational, a waste of energy” but then did as I wanted, and the ISS passed and disappeared from view in the rear window.

Suddenly, I spotted further space ships down near the surface of the planet. These where shaped like disks.


“Oh no, flying saucers” I muttered, “I hate these”. The telescope mode of the asifoscope showed that the people on board of the flying saucers where humanoid, green-skinned and had big almond-shaped eyes. Another one of those racist stereotypes. I am begging you, who is green with big eyes?


What I was seeing were flying saucers generated by some people on Earth by believing in them. I turned the channel selector a little bit and the UFOs disappeared. What a stupid, ridiculous nonsense! I don’t want to see them. Each time I see them, they make me angry. People think we aliens have nothing better to do than landing in their gardens, producing mysterious lights and abduct some of them.

Then I spotted another set of space ships. A look at the asifoscope’s information screen showed that they were not all from the same time. They were clustering around certain times in the future, at distances of 10, 20, 50, 100, 200, 500 and 1000 years. In the further temporal distance, I could see interstellar space ships zipping along at near the speed of light and also gigantic free-floating cities, actually artificial little city-planets. The ones in the less distant future looked technologically similar to the space station I had just passed. The further into the future, the larger and more fantastic the space ships became. In the furthest temporal distance I could see a worm hole opening, releasing an invasion fleet headed for Earth. Oh no! Not again!

I approached some of the “ships”, large structures like cities, around 100 years into the future.


I was flying towards on of them. It was surrounded by a glistening as-if-bubble. I entered the bubble with my ship. This created a prickling sensation on my skin and a very faint “plop” sound. Then I was inside. A warning light on my asifoscope suddenly went on. The dogma-detector! I knew what that meant. I was looking back through the rear window at the wall of the bubble I had just passed. Indeed, as expected, it had disappeared. This bubble was invisible from the inside. That is the hallmark of ideological as-if-constructions which have the characteristic feature of being invisible from the inside because they pretend not to be as-if-constructions. They are fictions that lie not to be fictions. Obviously, the creators of these as-if-constructions where believers! Believing is the act of making as-if-bubbles invisible from the inside. This is, of course, very dangerous because you can no longer distinguish between reality and phantasy. The result is irrational behavior, dangerous to the believer as well as to others.

So there are obviously people on your planet who believe in an ever more fantastic development of space technology. They believe that economy will grow forever and expand into space. What a nonsense.


Seen from inside this bubble, Earth also looked different. It was covered in green, lush forests and cities with kilometer-high super-skyscrapers with spherical or ellipsoidal structures high up on them. Flying cars where moving around in large numbers and people where using space lifts to reach orbital stations from where they could fly to moon and mars. Moon and mars, of course, where covered with large cities under gigantic domes. In the more distant future, Mars even had an ocean and a breathable atmosphere. It had been “terraformed”.

File:Terraforming Mars transition horizontal.jpg

Some of the structures I could see where obviously childish, the product of the minds of 10 to 12 year old boys. The others were not very different and only slightly more realistic, the product, it seemed, of men who had remained 12-year-old boys inside.

I tried switching the channel selector to zero, making sure that my asifomat remained switched on so my space ship would not disappear again. I thought I had switched the channel selector to zero, but I hadn’t.

I looked down on Earth as it really was, with its shrinking forests, with its growing deserts, its dirty and smoggy cities, with oceans depleted of fish and over fertilized with phosphorus and nitrogen. A civilization heading for self-destruction, enclosed inside a large as-if-bubble inside of which unlimited growth seems to exist. In reality, the limits of growth where showing up everywhere. The limit of the capacity of this planet’s atmosphere to absorb carbon dioxide was already reached.

Instead of terraforming Mars, you are working quite efficiently on martiforming Earth. You are turning your planet into a lifeless desert quite quickly. The only technology you are missing to complete the martiforming of your planet is one to get rid of the water. As a result, your oceans are rising.

I would recommend that instead of making plans to terraform Mars, you should instead terraform Earth. Turn it into a place that remains inhabitable in the long term.

Suddenly, I noted a little bubble quickly approaching my ship. Looking down to Earth, I could see its age had reduced to only about 6000 years. There was no global warming again. The little bubble was now in front of my ship and it was not really small. Inside, there was a huge man, dressed in some kind of night gown, with white wings attached to his back. He had a large sword in his hand. The screen of my asifoscope showed this was the archangel Gabriel. I noticed now that the channel selector was not on zero.

The angel lifted his sword, obviously to split my ship into two. But I was faster. I turned the knob and made sure this time it was really on zero. Science helps against this kind of as-if-constructions. Suddenly exposed to the vacuum of outer space, the angel was reaching towards his throat. His eyes popped out, he was obviously suffocating. Then, when the little arrow on the knob finally pointed to zero, the angle had disappeared. Earth was normal again.

What an adventure! I will never again say that outer space is boring. All you need is an asifoscope and an asifomat and you can experience incredible things. Make sure to read the instructions manuals, though, or else you are in for trouble.

Kind regards and I hope to see you soon!

Your friend Tsish

6 thoughts on “A letter from outer space – Part III

  1. The pictures I have used here:

    It is interesting to note that some of the pictures are from NASA. So tax-payer’s money is used to create such ideological stuff. The proper word for this is propaganda.

  2. Tsish has some very wise suggestions for the earthlings. One would certainly like to imagine they will be heeded.

    But, sadly, it seems more likely that in the imagination is the only place where that will happen.

  3. Pingback: Jupiter | The Asifoscope

  4. Pingback: At the Edge of the Universe | The Asifoscope

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s