A few weeks ago, my mother told me something I found interesting. We were talking about windy weather. Somebody had told me that he did not like wind at all. But I just love it, even when the wind is very strong (and some people are already calling it “storm”). My mother told me that recently, she found that the wind is becoming strenuous to her. “So with growing age”, she said, “you may get a different experience from the same things again”.
There was a time when I was young. I no longer am. It does not make much sense to try to define a moment when you stop being young. These are vague concepts. There is probably a time in the middle as well. Some people used to address me as “young man”, some still do but it starts sounding a bit ironic. I am not yet old, but no longer young. My daughter just finished secondary school, no longer a child. I don’t have grey hair, but that is probably because instead of becomming grey, my hairs are just falling out.
Many of the young people I am observing, e.g. in the tram, seem to live in worlds that have very little resemblance to my own, both that of my past and that of my present. I have always been an outsider, going my own ways, but that feeling of not belonging is getting stronger. Maybe that is what is happening when you grow older: bit by bit the world ceases to be your own. It is somehow gliding out of your hands. But at the same time, you get a kind of a bird’s eye view of it, seeing things you could not see before. So this loosing of grip, or losing of involvement, is not a negative thing although it leads to a feeling of melancholy sometimes. Maybe “loosing grip” is the wrong metaphor. The type of grip changes. It is becoming more abstract. You don’t feel the bumpiness of the road so much again, and that is a gain and a loss at the same time.
Some of you are in my age group, a few are older, many of you are younger than me, and in many cases I simply don’t know; the followers of this blog are a very diverse bunch. Some of you are more than 30 years younger than I am. The subjective and objective “world-lived-in” of many of you probably differs a lot from my own. But it looks like many of you still find some of my thoughts interesting. I am happy if I can contribute a little something some of you have a use for. I don’t know in what directions I am going to develop over the next years, but at this time I like to write and I still love the wind.
(The picture is from http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Max_Liebermann_-_Strand_in_Nordwijk_bei_Sturm.jpg).